Insecurities
by xxamaxx
Summary: A series of one-shots about harry potter character's insecurities warning- self harm, depression
1. Chapter 1

**A.N. a series of one-shots about Harry Potter character's insecurities **

**I don't own**

Hermione Granger

Hermione granger stood in the prefects bathroom facing the mirror.  
>Her busy hair was pulled back in a messy bun, stray clumps were roughly pushed back, her pale face was flushed and her eyes were bloodshot and puffy.<br>The room was hot... Suffocatingly hot.  
>Her school clothes were on the floor, all she wore was an tank top and pajama shorts.<br>Was she beautiful?  
>Of course not!<br>She's hideous!  
>Horrid!<br>Nothing compared to Lavender Brown!  
>She was small, her breast were small, nothing compared to Lavenders.<br>Her hair? Too puffy and normal, Lavender had curly vibrant blonde hair.  
>Eyes? Hermione had normal dull big brown eyes, Lavender had perfectly angular blue eyes.<br>Face it... Hermione Granger was nothing compared to beautiful Brown.  
>Why was this so complicated?<br>Why did she like Ron so much? He was such an ass!  
>Why did she have to be a mudblood?<br>Why was she such a nerd?  
>No one knew though.<br>Everyday she acted like she was perfectly fine, that she was living her dream. She was never fake, she was a nerd everyone knew it, she studied, she read whenever she could, she did her homework whenever she could.  
>She was top of the class.<br>No one knew that every night she locked herself in the bathroom and cried.  
>Today was different, Ron was dating Lavender Brown.<br>She now knew he didn't like her.  
>Before she knew what she was doing her palms were bleeding.<br>Hermione had dug her nail into her skin and now she palms throbbed and were bloody.  
>She didn't care.<br>Staring at her reflection she saw that she was fat.  
>Was she fat?<br>She defiantly wasn't skinny, but she wasn't fat either.  
>No, just not a stick.<br>She needed to be a stick.  
>Then she began to scream.<br>Loud.  
>The longer she yelled the higher her voice got until... The mirror broke.<br>It shattered into a million pieces.  
>She felt like she had shattered.<br>Abruptly she stopped screaming, like someone had popped a bubble, it was whole one minute... Then gone.  
>She stared at the broken bits of the mirror, then dropped to the floor and sobbed.<br>She cried.  
>Her fingers pulled at her hair, banging on the floor, and throwing shards of glass across the room.<br>She finally snapped, she broke down.  
>She finally accepted that just because she was magical, she wouldn't get her happy ending.<br>That was only in fairytales... This was harsh reality.


	2. Chapter 2

Ronald Weasley

Ron was invisible  
>He was like a shadow, there but unimportant.<br>Always ignored.  
>Weasel<br>Blood-traitor  
>Waste of space<br>Second best  
>Just a Weasley<br>Coward  
>The youngest boy<br>Weaselbee  
>That boy<br>Ginger  
>All the names.<br>It hurt.  
>Yes it did.<br>But he couldn't complain  
>Cause he was a shadow.<br>He wasn't a curse breaker  
>He wasn't a dragon trainer<br>He wasn't an important ministry official  
>He wasn't a pranker, he wasn't that creative<br>He wasn't the only girl...  
>He was Ron.<br>Just Ron.  
>He could never be first.<br>Always second, or third or seventh.  
>Never first.<br>Yes, he was a shadow, but he had feelings, and emotions.  
>No one would ever like poor unimportant Ronald Weasley. It wasn't possible. <p>


	3. Chapter 3

Ginevra Weasley

Ginny Weasley was the youngest of the Weasleys.  
>She was the only female too.<br>She hated it.  
>Her parents doted on her, and was more protective of her.<br>She wasn't glass y'know.  
>Ginny remembered getting her first dress. She didn't want to wear hand-me-downs, so she told her mother to get her GIRL clothes.<br>In truth she was okay wearing the boy's old clothes, she just wanted her own.  
>Two day later her mother had forced her into a pink knee-length dress, though the worse park was the frilly white color, and trimmings of the sleeves.<br>Ever since then, she was forced to wear only dresses and her mother had the impression that she was girly.  
>She couldn't be HER! She couldn't be herself.<br>Then when the chamber incident happened, her parents didn't even let her leave the front door without one of her brother or themselves. Her mother had looked at her like she might shatter any moment.  
>She couldn't help but wonder if Riddle was right, was all she was a prize? Not a daughter? Her parents are suppose to punish her for inappropriate behavior, not let it slide! Her parents weren't suppose to heed her ever wish!<br>Was all she was a prize that has finally been won?


	4. Chapter 4

Harry Potter

Harry didn't even wince this time, as the blade he held sliced his wrist.  
>It was deep too.<br>Red liquid ran down her hand dripping on the tile floor.  
>What would everyone think of their hero now?<br>They'd most likely be disgusted,  
>Their hero was cutting.<br>Cutting to get away from everything.  
>He couldn't die, not after he learned the prophesy, suicide was out if the question. But he could still cut.<br>He needed it.  
>To control the pain.<br>Harry hated being dependent, which is why he hated cutting.  
>Though he loved it at the same time.<br>Was the weird?  
>He didn't know, nor did he care.<br>The relief was addicting.  
>He had ten knew cuts so far, more than he had ever done at once.<br>The sting was there but he didn't acknowledge it.  
>He had expectations to live up too.<br>What did people think he was?  
>A hero?<br>Yes, he had a saving people thing, but he basically killed people more than saved.  
>Indirectly of course, but it was his fault all the same.<br>Harry shut his eyes tight, unwilling to give in to tear, he hadn't cried in a long time, but it was like everything had finally hit him.  
>Everyone expected him to be a leader, never follow,<br>A savior, but never saved  
>To be strong and never fail<br>To be a fucking hero from some damn fairy tale.  
>To always win.<br>this was reality though, not a fairy tale.  
>He can't win.<br>He can't save people.  
>He can't even win the battle to save himself.<br>It had become mindless now, without knowing, he swiped the blade across an open space upon his wrist.  
>It seemed like he was covered in scars. His shirt, hands and arms were covered in blood, he didn't care.<br>It wouldn't be the first time.


	5. Chapter 5

Neville Longbottom

Neville stared blankly ahead at the plain white walls, this was his father's room.  
>The walls were plain white, the bed was big, but not as much as a king sized one, the covers were dull red.<br>Dull.  
>Everything in here was dull.<br>Because, his grandmother said not to change anything about the room. She liked it.  
>The counterpane was red, like blood.<br>Neville never cut himself, but, blood was fascinating. The way it dripped, or flowed.  
>Speaking of blood, he lost a lot during that battle in the department of mysteries.<br>Madame Pomfrey forced him to take several blood replenishing potions.  
>When Neville came home his gran didn't even care he almost lost his life, she was PROUD he was willing to give it!<br>At first Neville was too happy about finally getting his grandmother's approval that he didn't notice that.  
>But he heard Ron and Ginny complain saying that his mother banned him from his broom for the first four weeks of summer, and he had to do his homework.<br>Neville was confused, his gran bought him a new wand and plant book.  
>But Hermione had said her parents had grounded her, and that they had deserved it for jumping into danger instead of asking an adult, and risking their lives.<br>Harry had then said the order was stupid, and ranted about how unfair life was.  
>But not the point.<br>Neville realized that his gran didn't care about HIM, she wanted him to be his father. Not himself.  
>But he wasn't his father<br>And never would be.  
>He was Neville<br>Just Neville.  
>And he was alone.<br>Friends seemed to suffocate him, he loved them, but they were all too much.  
>No one at school noticed he too fought at the DOM, but, no one ever noticed him.<p> 


	6. Chapter 6

Luna Lovegood

Luna was not Loony.  
>Not at all.<br>She was smart.  
>Exceedingly smart, and talented.<br>Luna mastered the patronus charm, she scored 8 O. , and she was known for fighting death eaters.  
>Yes, she fought death eaters.<br>Luna did believe in nargles, and wackspurts and... Well everything. But she always had a dreamy look on her face.  
>Why?<br>Because the comments hurt her.  
>If she pretended to not care then after a while she wouldn't.<br>Luna had feelings too, even if she doesn't show them.  
>No one seemed to realize that.<p> 


End file.
